About building rapport and squelching fear

Hey everybody! Before I begin I want to take a moment to thank all the awesome people who attended my training event in Dublin last Friday. Fantastic group. Everyone was pumped. And with all these professional closers hitting the streets of Dublin soon I’m certain the area is going to experience an economic resurgence well into the future.

Right now I’m in Ho Chi Minh City where hundreds of people have been waiting with eager anticipation for my 3-day Entrepreneur Boot Camp. I’ve been here before and I’m pleased to be back.

You know, if there’s one thing I’ve learned doing my training events now on six continents is that cultural differences aside, we aren’t that much different. We all want success. We’re all willing to work hard to attain that success. And we all strive to gather the knowledge and skills that will bring us success. So I’m honored to have been invited to so many cities across the globe and doubly honored to have played a part in the future success of so many people.

Okay, what I want to do today is answer a couple of questions that readers have sent in. So let’s see what we’ve got.

Eric says: I work doing door to door with real estate. I just was looking for tips on the initial greet. When someone first opens the door how to get rapport and get them to realize I’m not selling anything and it cost them nothing. They assume I’m cox or Verizon home improvement etc. So before I even start to talk they are saying no. Also do you apologize for interrupting them when they get to the door or ask directly for the homeowner?

First of all Eric, if you’re not selling anything then why are you knocking on doors? You’re always selling something and initially it may be just you that you’re selling. Here’s what you’ve got to understand and this holds true for any human interaction, even if it’s not sales related.

The first four seconds are crucial to your success. Within that time frame you must establish that you’re 1) sharp as a tack, 2) enthusiastic as all hell, and 3) an expert in your field. This is what stops people from saying “no.” If they perceive you as a person worth listening to, they’ll give you their time and attention.

And what’s to apologize for? You’re offering to improve people’s lives in some way, right? You’re not there to waste their time. Back around 2002 or so I was selling mortgage refis door-to-door for a friend of mine out on Long Island. What I said to these people was something like,

“Hi, my name is Jordan and I’m doing mortgages. What rate you payin’?”

Now in print that may not look like much. But with the right tonality it worked like a charm. I presented myself as a person worth listening to. They told me the rate they were paying and I responded with,

“No kidding! I can save you a ton of money.”

And I did—tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of the mortgage. No reason to apologize for that. Plus, I put $5k to $10 in my pocket with each transaction.

So Eric, here’s what it all boils down to. Have something valuable your prospects will want. Then open with genuine enthusiasm (because you’re excited about this something of value). And when your prospects sense that you’re not there to waste their time, everything else will just fall into place.

Raul asks: How can I overcome the fear and move onto the next level?

Okay Raul, at the heart of virtually all fear is the notion that if we fail we won’t be loved or we’ll be viewed as not good enough or that we don’t measure up. These are ideas we developed in our heads going back to early childhood. So first, you need to know that there’s no embarrassment in struggle. The embarrassment is in quitting or not trying your hardest. At the end of the day you’re still going to be loved and if you try and fail, you’ll have the respect of others for trying. Okay?

Now, we’re conditioned to look at problems rather than solutions. When we focus on the problems, we become paralyzed with fear and end up crashing right into those problems. Newton’s Law says that an object in motion tends to stay in motion and we can apply this to our own lives. Once we’re in a disempowered state, fear and negative thinking feed on each other, which leads to more fear and negative thinking. And momentum begins to build.

If your life is going in the wrong direction, it will continue in that direction until you change course. This requires breaking old habits and behavior patterns that don’t work and replacing them with new ones.

So the first thing you need to do is understand your fears and accept them. They’re smoke screens for all the crap you went through growing up. They have nothing to do with your life in the present tense.

Next step is to start focusing on what’s right with your life instead of what’s wrong. That’ll help you avoid crashing into your fears. Then you start envisioning the kind of future you want for yourself. Be very graphic and detailed. Run a movie in your mind of how you want things to be. Then start focusing on that. So now you’re looking beyond your fears into a more positive future.

Just remember, Raul, that your fears are not going to vanish. People think I accomplish so much because I have no fear. I have lots of fears! I just don’t let them get in the way of what I want to accomplish. Fear tends to pop up at some very inconvenient times, but you can push through your fears once you understand how impotent they really are. Looking at them that way makes them easier to manage.

Okay everybody, thanks for stopping by. I’ve got some final preparations to take care of for my Boot Camp. We’ll talk again real soon.

All the best,



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